My Angel
by Wingstar23
Summary: (chichiri's pov) the life and death of one person can make a difference to others. Houjun learns this lesson from a four year old girl he saved.complete
1. The Girl

A/N: well it's another new story that I thought up at like midnight one night. I was trying for a one shot fic but it didn't work out that way. So yes this is from Chichiri's point of view and it takes place after the flood and before he becomes a monk. Spoilers for Chiri's past and some morbid moments but other than that, safe. Fushigi Yuugi isn't mine but the little girl is. And to the fic….

My Angel 

As I sit here all alone, calmly marveling at nature's beauty and enjoying the peace that has fallen over me I start to reflect on my life and how different it might have turned out if not for one small child. I smile fondly at the memory. Yes, she truly was my angel, my savior. If not for her things would have turned out very differently indeed…

 As I sat in the ruins of what was once my home, I thought back to when I was a boy playing and laughing with Kouran and Hikou, blissfully unaware of the future. My thoughts drift slowly back to the present and my emotions closed in around me, like the walls of a prison… the loneliness and despair, the indescribable anguish of having lost everything including my left eye, all in the same day. Not only had I lost my family and everyone I held dear, but with them had gone my hopes and dreams, my sense of self and even my will to live. I could never amount to anything more than a half blind monster now that I'd murdered my best friend. I would never be able to love again, could never hope to be trusted by anyone … all I wished for was death. With all my heart and soul, I prayed that Suzaku would end my pathetic excuse for a life once and for all and give my tormented mind peace. I longed for the darkness that came with eternal sleep because then I wouldn't have to relive that day over and over in my mind. Coming to my senses only to realize that Hikou was drowning in the river, the waters swollen and the current swift… me taking his hand in a weak attempt to spare his life…the horrible agony as that log hit my eye and then the awful realization that I was no longer holding onto my best friend's hand…that he was gone forever, all on my account. All I wanted was for the darkness to claim my life, to put me out of my misery!

Then the strangest thing happened, I heard a scream in the distance and, somehow, it sparked something deep inside of me. Momentarily forgetting my inner turmoil, I ran towards the scream only to find a child of about four years old being attacked by two large, unsavory-looking bandits. She was sobbing uncontrollably as the bandits demanded she turn over all that she possessed. The tiny girl told them over and over that she had nothing but they wouldn't believe her. 

The first man, a tall young lad of about sixteen with hair as dark as night, kicked her down and proceeded to drive his heel into her arm, right where the joint meets the lower arm. A sickening crunch rent the air followed by a yell so piercing and full of anguish that I left my troubles by the riverbank for a minute as I sprang towards the two unsuspecting thieves. I caught the raven-haired man by the arms, twisting them up behind his back while I froze the other with a spell.

"Why are you tormenting this poor child?" I demanded "What has she done to you?"

"N-nothin'!" stammered the one I held in my spell "We're jus' doin' our job! Us bandits gotta make a livin' too y'know!"

"Be that as it may, I cannot allow you to harm this girl." I told them "Now either leave immediately or prepare to fight!" I growled with more bravery than I felt.

The raven haired man broke my hold on his arms and swiftly punched me in the stomach. I gasped and fell backwards as the air was forced out of me, accidentally releasing the second man from my spell. 

As the second thief started towards me, fists raised threateningly, the little girl darted forward and put out her good arm, trying to shield me from the oncoming attacker.

"Don't hurt him." she said, voice small and frightened but still firm.

"Aww.. isn't that sweet?" the raven haired man cooed mockingly "Our blue-haired hero has a pint-sized girlfriend!" He stalked up to her and sneered "Whatcha gonna do, kid? Tell your mommy on us?"

The two bandits burst out laughing and the second man shoved the girl aside and started for me again. This time his friend joined him. 

I swallowed, my bravery slipping with each step they took, scared out of my wits. Then the girl was there again.

"Don't hurt him." she repeated, stepping between me and the two men once more.

The second man grabbed her by the front of her tunic and lifted her so that they were face to face. "An' if we do?" he challenged, voice dangerously soft.

The girl whimpered as fresh tears tumbled down her cheeks, green eyes wide and tearful.

I felt anger begin to rise within me. How dare they hurt her! She was only a child, small and defenseless! How could I be such a coward? If even this tiny child could show such bravery in the face of danger, then surely so could I! It wasn't right to let them hurt her and make her cry! I sprang to my feet and said in an ominous whisper "Let her go."

The raven-haired bandit smirked. "Or what? You'll cry about it? Shut up, you half-blind freak and get outta here before we really mess you up!" he yelled.

"If you leave now, I'll let you live." I told them flatly.

The second man threw the girl down and advanced on me again. His fist connected with my left eye before I had a chance to block it and I screamed in pain, throwing my hands up in front of me. A red light shone from my right knee and surrounded me as pure white light glowed from my palms. In horrible agony and sheer panic, I let loose two glowing spheres of pure energy. The man in front of me crumpled to the floor like someone who had just been hit by three tons of sand. The raven-haired man gaped in shock at what he had just witnessed then shook himself out of his stupor, grabbed his friend and bolted as fast as his feet would carry him.

I stood for a second looking at my hands in disbelief. How in the name of the seven hells had I done that? And what had that red light been? A small sob reached my ears and snapped me out of my astonished staring and I remembered the little girl.

She was huddled in the grass where the thief had thrown her, eyes wide and fearful, trembling like a leaf.

"D-don't hurt me." she stammered fearfully, her tears falling more rapidly as I came closer." Please…"

********** well that's it for chapter one. Sorry about the cliffhanger but my fingers are gonna fall off from typing so damned fast. Anyways tell me whatcha think and see you next chapter.

~Tenshi Kitsune~ ******************************  


	2. One Person Can Make A Difference

A/N: well I don't care if nobody seems to like this story cause I do, so here's the update for the one person that read this and reviewed. As usual Fushigi Yuugi isn't mine but the little girl is so don't sue me. And on to the chapter….

"Please…" sobbed the little girl I'd just saved "Don't hurt me."

"It's alright." I reassured her "I'm going to help you." I took another step towards her.

"Please..." she stammered her tears falling faster as I came closer.

"Don't be afraid. It's alright" I said desperately, kneeling in the grass a few steps away from her " I won't hurt you, I'm just trying to help."

She looked at me for a second, unsure if I was being honest or not. Finally she took a tentative step towards me.

I gave her a smile of encouragement. "It's alright." I repeated "You're safe now." I held out my hand to her. Her tiny shoulders dropped in relief and she ran into my arms, knocking me backwards onto the grass. I sat down hard and held her as she crushed her face into my tunic, sobbing.

"You're safe now. Those bad men are gone now." I reassured her "Come on now, no more tears…"

She clung to me and buried her face deeper in the folds of my tunic. I let her cry, cradling her gently against my chest. She let out a squeak as her broken arm accidentally brushed my hand.

"Daijobu?" I asked, gently taking the girl's injured limb in my hands and checking it over.

"No." she sniffled softly "It hurts." she touched her broken arm gingerly "Here and here." Then her head "Here and" she touched her knee "Here."

"Aww… Poor little one." I said sympathetically "Do you know where your village is? I'll bring you back to your mommy and daddy so they can fix you up."

"Village gone. Bad men came and made it on fire, then 'kaa-san and 'Nii-chan wouldn't wake up" the girl told me "M'all alone now."

My eye filled with tears as her sad story touched my heart and reminded me of my own painful past. It was odd, but this tiny child had made me forget my previously dark thoughts of death. I wanted to live now because if I died, she wouldn't have a chance all by herself out in the world. I hugged her tightly and told her it would be okay.

"I'm going to help you." I said as I lifted her up and headed back to the ruins of my own home. As we came up to my house I sighed and looked apologetically at the girl. "It isn't much, but it's home…I suppose."

She looked up at me, cheeks still wet with tears and smiled a little. I set her down in the grass in front of my destroyed home and told her to wait for me there. "I'll be back in just a minute." I assured her.

"No!" she cried jumping up and grabbing my hand. "Not all alone. Want to stay with eiyuu-san!"

I stared at her. "Eiyuu-san? I'm afraid you're mistaken." I said bitterly "I'm no hero. I'm nothing but a monster."

"No!" she insisted stubbornly "Not a monster. Hero. My hero." She looked up at me with green eyes full of conviction and insistence.

I looked into those eyes and couldn't help but smile. "If you say so." I laughed "But if you don't mind, I'd rather be called Houjun."

She nodded. "Houjun-san." she said happily "Watashi wa Mirai desu." She added pointing at herself.

"Mirai it is then." I agreed, scooping her up into my arms again. "We'll get you fixed up and then we'll see if we can't find you somewhere to stay."

"Stay with Houjun." the girl said firmly.

"For now." I nodded. We came to the small infirmary set up by a kindly old widow who had also survived the flood and asked her if we could have a few of her medical supplies. I explained to her about Mirai's arm and she started thrusting everything from bandages and herbs to small branches, and a wooden bowl to grind up leaves into both Mirai's arms and mine. 

" Arigato, Tokeri-san." I thanked her, bowing slightly being careful not to accidentally drop Mirai. 

"Hai, domo arigato obaa-san." the girl in my arms echoed solemnly as we turned to head back to what remained of my house.

"Take care of yourself, Houjun-kun." Tokeri called after us "And of that little one as well."

"I will." I assured her, turning to look over my shoulder at the kindly old lady.

When we'd gotten back, I set Mirai down again and set about the task of patching up her broken arm.

She winced every time I moved the injured limb, but didn't say a word watching me intently the whole time. As gently as I could, I wrapped the bandages around her arm and put it in a makeshift sling. I went to lift up the leg of her pants and found the knee ripped and bloody. I gently lifted the fabric up past her knee and cleaned off the blood. Luckily it was only a bad scrape so I put a small medicinal leaf over the cut to help it heal faster and wrapped a bit of cloth around her knee to keep the leaf in place. Lastly I asked her where she had had her head hit. The girl lifted her good hand and gingerly touched just behind her right ear. I put my hand where she had shown me and softly felt around the bump that had already started to form there. I brought my hand back in front of me and checked to see if there was blood on it. There wasn't. On a sudden impulse, I gave her a light kiss on the forehead to make her head feel better and smiled at her.

"All better?" I asked softly.

"Hai." she answered. She stood up and looked gravely at the dusty and ragged bandage over my left eye. It was red with blood, the horrible gash having been reopened by the bandit's punch. She frowned in concern. 

 "Houjun hurt." she said quietly "Fix it."

Ever so carefully, she reached up and untied the bandage, exposing my eye in all its half-infected bloody glory. Her frown deepened and she shook her head sadly. She picked up a few herbs that Tokeri had given us and crushed them into a paste with a stick and the wooden bowl. I watched in bewilderment, unable to move, as the tiny girl lightly cleaned the blood off the cut. She spread the paste onto a fresh bandage then delicately around my eye. She tied the cloth with the herbs over my eye. I let out a small squeak as the medicine touched the infected part of my eye.

"Daijobu." she soothed "Shh…" She finished tying the bandage over my eye and gave me a soft kiss on the cheek. "Better?" she asked in genuine concern.

I nodded dumbly, not trusting myself to speak. Why was this child being so nice to me? What had I ever done in my miserable life to deserve such compassion? How was it that my disfigured face didn't appall her? Didn't she recognize a monster when she saw one? Tears came to my good eye as these thoughts chased themselves around my head. I tried to keep them from falling but failed miserably as the pearly drops slid down my face and onto my hands. I bowed my head as sadness overtook me.

"Don't cry." Mirai whispered " I didn't mean to hurt Houjun-san." She looked down in shame as tears fell down her cheeks as well.

"P-please don't cry too.." I pleaded, feeling even worse for making her feel bad "It's not your fault. I swear it." I pulled her into my lap and hugged her close. 

She looked up at me, green eyes full of remorse. "Then why y'cry?"  she hiccupped, brushing tears off her face.

"I did something terrible…" I admitted, my tears coming faster now.

"Fix it?" she asked hopefully, voice small  and quiet.

"No, Mirai. I can never fix this." I said my own voice a mixture of sadness and bitter regret.

"Why not?" she asked softly.

"Because you just can't fix some things." I told her gently.

"But-but then…no!" she cried, struggling to understand "I don't want Houjun t'be sad!" she wailed, burying her face in my tunic.

"It's alright." I soothed "It'll be okay." I wiped desperately at my eyes, trying to get them to stop spilling the tears that were causing my tiny companion so much pain. I finally got my emotions under control and I brushed a hand over my cheeks, careful to avoid my injured eye. I gently lifted Mirai's chin and looked into her eyes. "It's alright." I told her "I'm okay see?"

She whimpered a little as she looked into my eye, then nodded. Her eyes were sympathetic and she whispered "Houjun-san hurt?"

"A little." I told her, somehow trusting her even though I barely knew her "But I'm alright."

"Don't worry. Be okay." She reassured giving me a tiny smile "Promise."

I smiled back and gave her a kiss on the top of her head. "Maybe…"

***************************************A/N: well here it is chapter two of the story no one likes. Oh well I like it and so does at least one other person so up this goes. Glossary of weird words:

Daijobu-it's okay or are you okay

Domo Arigato-thank you very much

'kaa-san-short for okaa-san means mother

'Nii-chan- big brother

Eiyuu-hero

If I missed and words I'm sorry but I'm tired. Will revise later.

~Tenshi Kitsune~         ****************       


	3. Be Careful What You Say, You Never Know ...

A/N: well well well… I seem to have acquired a few new fans since last time I last updated…very cool. ^-^ Yes…on to the stupid disclaimer I always need to put: I don't own Fushigi Yuugi but I do own Mirai. And on to the story…

  We sat together, on the grass, me cross-legged, with my back against a wooden support joint that hadn't been destroyed when my home had, Mirai held gently in my arms, her head resting softly on my chest, both of us lost in thought.  For awhile, we stayed like that, just enjoying the closeness of each other and the relative peace that came with that closeness. Finally, with a sigh of regret I broke the silence.

"Mirai?" I said quietly.

She looked up at me. "Hmm?" 

"Remember when I said that we'd have to find you some place to stay?" I started carefully.

She nodded warily.

I took a deep breath. "Well, we're going to have to work on finding you some place to stay." I told her.

"Stay with Houjun-san." the girl said firmly.

"Mirai, you have to be a big girl and let me find you somewhere to live." I said gently "I can't take care of you properly."

"Can so!" she protested, eyes pleading and defiant at the same time. "See?" she showed me the sling I'd made for her arm.

I shook my head, placing Mirai on the ground and knelt in front of her. "That's not what I mean Mirai. I don't have a house for you to live in; I don't have water or food. All I have left in this world is this." I gestured to the ruins of my home "And whatever mushrooms and berries I can find."

"Doesn't matter." she insisted stubbornly "Stay with Houjun-san!"

"You can't!" I told her, starting to get frustrated. Why was she making this more difficult than it already was? 

"Why?" she demanded jumping to her feet, tears starting in her blue eyes.

"I just told you why!" I answered impatiently, "I can't take care of you properly!"

 "B-but…" she stammered, tears starting to tumble down her cheeks "Th-this all I got." She spread her arms apart, wincing as her broken arm was moved but still looking me squarely in the eyes. "This n' this only." she whispered, putting a small hand on my cheek.

I sighed in frustration. "Mirai, I know I'm all you've got right now!" I cried, jumping to my feet. This was too much for me! How could I be so important to this one little girl? Why did she fight so hard just to stay with _me_? Who was I to anybody? "I can't take care of you! I just can't!" I yelled, desperately trying to make her understand "Look at me! I can't even take care of myself!"  Tears started to sting the corners of my eyes as the pain I knew I was causing Mirai cut through me like a knife. "You can't stay with me!" I shouted "You can't because I'm a horrible, evil man who shouldn't be allowed to live and you deserve better!"

Mirai's eyes widened and her mouth opened to argue back. She looked at me with such pain and regret in her green eyes that my heart broke. She closed her mouth firmly, hands falling to her sides, and nodded slowly. " 'kay." she whispered, voice barely audible. She put a hand to my cheek and gave me a quick kiss before she turned on her heel and ran from me, tears streaming down her face.

A/N: and so it ends for now because I am tired and because I'm out of ideas and because I wanna be evil. I'll post the conclusion real soon I promise. No weird words today. But a note for Flighting dreams: Mirai is four. She's just smarter than she looks because she's been on her own for awhile. I'll explain more later and about Chichiri's magic, I'm not sure if he could use before or not. I just wanted him to be able to so he could save Mirai. Yes I hope I answered questions.  See you next chappy.

~Tenshi Kitsune~


	4. Lost And Found

A/n: Since I was so evil last chappy thought I'd put this one out fairly quick. And that stupid disclaimer I always have to put up: Fushigi Yuugi= mine…um...I mean not mine. Mirai=mine. To the chappy….

I just stood there for a minute, watching Mirai's form get smaller and smaller as she ran from me, too stunned to even think. Slowly, everything came crashing down on me, my words to Mirai…the look on her face as she pleaded to stay with me…the realization that she wasn't coming back…that I had pushed her away…

"What have I done?" I whispered, sinking to my knees "_What have I done?_" 

I fell forwards, burying my face in my hands and sobbing like a child. How could I have done that to her? Mirai hadn't deserved those words I had so thoughtlessly hurled at her. Those words were meant for me, I was yelling at myself and poor Mirai had become the target of my anger simply because I couldn't control my emotions. Even after all that I'd been through, I still hadn't learned my lesson, I still lashed out at that poor girl as if she were the cause of all my pain and anguish.

"Why?" I screamed, lifting my tear-streaked face to the heavens in a desperate plea "Why do you keep me here Suzaku? Don't you see what a monster I am? Take my life! Please, I beg of you, end this pathetic existence of mine so that others will be spared my hateful anger and the childish displays of my tears!"  

 When nothing happened to answer my prayer for death, I let my head fall forwards onto my chest, my hands dropping listlessly beside me in defeat. I don't know how long I stayed that way, but somehow in the midst of my despair I realized that I had just let a four-year-old run off into the unknown alone and unprotected after I had told her nothing would hurt her so long as I was there. Forcing myself to get to my feet, I ran after her.

_I have to find her!_ I told myself over and over, dashing tears out of my eye _ I have to make sure she's alright!_

I ran for a good twenty minutes, not knowing where I was headed, but somehow knowing I was going in the right direction. All of a sudden, it started getting darker and darker around me, forcing me to slow my headlong dash to a cautious walk. I came to a stop, breathing hard, eyes darting around in confusion and saw that I had run blindly into the heart of a forest. Tears of frustration sprang to my eyes as I realized I had no idea which way I had come, or where I was now. I threw myself down under a tree and sat there for a minute, trying to catch my breath.

"Oh very good Houjun." I berated myself "Now that you're hopelessly lost, Mirai won't have a chance! She'll be captured by bandits or even worse, and all because you were too stupid to stop her from running off in the first place!"

I drew my knees up to my chest and hugged them tightly, tears falling down my cheeks once more. I could feel the bitterness rising in my throat as I sat there and sobbed into my knees. What a fool I was! I'd let the one person who could possibly ever care about me-or who _I_ could ever care for, for that matter- run off, possibly straight into the arms of horrible danger and here I was, lost in the middle of nowhere, powerless to try and save her…

I bowed my head as my tears came faster and stronger, burying my head in my arms. The thin rays of light filtering in from above gradually got thinner and paler as night began to fall. I was still sitting under the same tree I had been sitting under for the past three hours, when I heard a branch crack a few meters ahead. My head snapped up and I strained my eyes against the growing darkness, trying to see who or what had made the sound. A shadowy figure appeared in the distance. I inhaled sharply and held my breath as the figure came closer and closer. A ray of light caught in soft chestnut hair and I let out an explosive breath. "Mirai?" I called tentatively "Is that you?"

The figure stopped in its tracks. "H-Houjun-san?" came the shaky reply. 

"Yes, that's right." I said as relief washed over me. She was safe! Mirai came running out of the shadows and smashed into my knees, crying and trembling. 

"Are you alright?" I asked worriedly, sweeping the girl into my arms.

"Y-Yeah…" she whimpered. "I-it's scary in here."

"You're alright." I whispered, pulling the small girl into a fierce hug "I've got you. Nothing's going to hurt you now. "

"P-promise?" she hiccupped, getting as close to me as she could. 

I nodded and put a hand on the back of her head, giving her a soft kiss on her left temple . "I swear I'll never leave you again." 

"F-for real this time?" Mirai asked softly, her sobs quieting to occasional sniffles.

"Forever." I promised, "For as long as you want me to be, I'll be here for you."

"Good." she sighed putting her head down on my shoulder. "'Cause I missed you."

"I missed you too." I managed around the lump in my throat. "I missed you too…"

A/N: well there it is, chapter four. Sorry I took so long I had the worst case of writer's block! Yes well I hope that wasn't too bad seeing as I think I could have done much better with it but oh well. Oh yeah! Before I forget again, an especially big thank you goes out to roku kyu for reviewing this story 'cause she's my hero on ff.net and I'm glad to know that she liked it. See you all next chapter!  

~Tenshi Kitsune~


	5. For Your Sake As Well As Mine

A/N: hey all it's chapter five and all I have to say is thanks for the support and I don't own Fushigi Yuugi. But Mirai's mine. To the chapter…

We sat together held tightly in each other's arms, for a very long time, neither of us wanting to let go. It was as if we were afraid that if either one of us let go the other would disappear again.  The sky overhead grew darker and darker until finally, I couldn't even see my own hand in front of my face. 

"Houjun-san?" Mirai said softly, breaking the silence that had come over us.

"What's wrong?" I answered quietly.

"M' sleepy. I wanna go home." 

"We can't go home yet." I told her gently "It's too dark out. We're going to have to wait for morning." 

"But-but m'scared out here." Mirai whimpered.

"Don't worry, I've got you and I won't let anything hurt you." I said soothingly, shifting Mirai so that she was cradled in my arms. "Just close your eyes and when you wake up it won't be scary anymore, alright?"

She nodded. "'Kay."

I smiled and kissed her forehead. "Oyasumi-nasai." I whispered. 

"Oyasumi-nasai, Houjun-san." came the sleepy reply as Mirai lay her head down on my chest and closed her eyes.

I kept awake for as long as I could but, in the end sleep claimed me, and my eyes slid shut. I had only been asleep for a few hours when I was jolted awake by a searing pain in my left side. I inhaled sharply and put my hand to my side.

"Damnit! That hurt." I cursed softly "What just happened?" 

I squinted into the darkness trying to figure out what had hit me. I got my answer soon enough as I received another kick, this time to my arm, and I heard Mirai sobbing. Still half asleep, I looked down at the sleeping girl in my arms. She was covered in a cold sweat and her face was screwed up in a look of pure torture. One hand was gripping a corner of my tunic as if it were a lifeline thrown to a drowning man and she kicked out every so often as she fought whatever she was dreaming about.

"Mirai!" I whispered urgently, gently shaking her shoulders "Wake up, you're dreaming!"  

The girl's eyes flew opened and she blinked up at me for a second. "H-houjun-san?" she said around sobs.

I nodded. "That's right." I told her softly "It's alright, you were dreaming."

"No, not a dream!" she said voice thick with tears "S'real…an'…an'…" The tiny girl threw her arms around my neck, pressing her face into my shoulder and shaking like a leaf.

"It wasn't real, Mirai." I repeated, "It was only a dream, it just looked real."

"No!" she insisted tightening her hold "S'real! I saw it!"

"What did you see?" I asked, trying a different approach.

" 'Kaa-san… an' Nii-chan…in my house…" she whispered, voice made even fainter by my tunic. "Th' fire was all 'round..." She trailed off into more sobs trembling worse than ever. "An' then I was outside an' it all went black… then Nii-chan an' 'Kaa-san wouldn't wake up an' s'all my fault!" 

 My eyes widened in disbelief as I realized that Mirai had just told me how she'd lost her family in the fire she'd told me about when I first met her. She thought it was her fault that they had died. These dreams had probably haunted her every night since the day of the fire and each night she would cry out and then wake up alone, in the dark somewhere with no one to hold her and tell her it was okay, that it hadn't been her fault… 

Blinking back tears, I pulled the tiny girl close, rubbing her back soothingly. "It's alright." I murmured, "It wasn't your fault...it was an accident…a horrible accident…you didn't do anything wrong."

"B-but I did!" she cried, "I was s'posed to get them out…" 

"It wasn't your fault." I repeated, my voice firm yet gentle "It was an accident. You couldn't have helped them, you're too young, and you were frightened…it wasn't your fault. You didn't do anything wrong. "

The child's grip on me became almost painful as she clung to me for all she was worth. I put my hand behind her head and stroked her hair, speaking words of comfort and peace in a low voice choked with still unshed tears. I could feel Mirai's tears soaking through the thin material of my shirt, I felt her shaking in my arms, and the control I had over my own emotions broke. I sobbed along with her, feeling her pain join with my own and double in intensity because I couldn't stand seeing Mirai cry.  We both sat there sobbing and holding each other as close as we could until finally Mirai's sobs softened and trailed off into muffled hiccups.

"H-houjun-san?" the girl asked softly, turning her head a little so that the fabric of my shirt didn't cover her face.

I opened my mouth to answer but a soft squeak escaped instead.

"Be okay." Mirai told me, her voice sleepy and faint. " We got each other now…"

I nodded silently and brushed some of the tears off my face. "I know... that's the one thought that keeps me alive, the thought that if I were to die, you'd miss me at least."

As I bent my head to kiss her forehead, I found that my last words had fallen on deaf ears. Mirai had fallen asleep again. I swept away the last of my tears and smiled a little. 

"Sleep tight, my angel." I whispered.

A/N: well there's ch 5 for you. A bit melodramatic but hey, I kinda like it. Anyways here's the dictionary of the foreign languages I used:

'Kaa-san= short for okaa-san means 'mother' or 'mom'

Nii-chan=older brother

Oyasumi nasai= goodnight.

That's it for now see ya next chappy!

~Tenshi Kitsune~


	6. Reflected In The Flowing WatersA Fragmen...

A/n: well it's yet another chapter of the story that started out with one and a half reviews-my favorite one, actually- so yet again thanks to everyone who reviewed, it makes me feel special ^-^. Anyways, I don't own Fushigi Yuugi but Mirai is mine. So to the chapter…

A feeling of calm came over me as I slowly floated back to the conscious world. I smiled a little and just lay in the soft grass, enjoying the feeling for a few minutes. It had been so long since I had last felt this way… peaceful, as if in that one moment all was right with the world. My eyes slipped opened and I sighed heavily as the feeling of calm melted inside me and was replaced with the familiar bitter sadness of the past few months. I went to sit up, but found myself struggling to do so.

"Wh-what?" I mumbled, still half-asleep "Why can't I move…" 

I looked down and found a little girl curled up next to me. My arm was under hers and she was holding my hand in her sleep.  I blinked in confusion for a minute, then remembered that I knew this tiny child. I lay still again, not wanting to wake her up.

_ That's right, _I thought with a small smile _Mirai…the girl I saved yesterday _I reached out with my free hand and brushed a stray lock of hair off her face. She really was small, I thought as I watched her chest rise and fall softly with each breath she took. Small and alone…except for me. She was alone in this world except for me… 

"I won't leave you." I vowed "Never, no matter what happens…"

Mirai whimpered and she let go of my hand to rub at her eyes. "H-houjun-san?" she called sleepily "Where are you?"

"I'm right here." I said softly, gently brushing her cheek with the back of my hand.

She flipped over onto her stomach, taking hold of my hand once more, and smiled at me. 

"Decided to rejoin the living?" I teased lightly.

Mirai giggled. "Uh-huh."

"Could I have my arm back please?" I asked, a playful note in my voice.

She laughed again. "Nope. S'mine now." she told me with an impish grin.

"Really? Well then, I guess I'll just have to do this!" I swept the tiny child into my arms and tickled her until she was nearly crying with laughter.

" 'Kay! 'Kay! Yours!" the girl managed between fits of helpless laughter.

"Do you promise?" I asked, stopping my tickle-attack.

"Yes! Yours!" she cried still laughing a little. She let go of my arm and looked up at me with serious green eyes. "But mine sometimes."

I shook my head in amusement and gave her a kiss on the top of her head. "Whatever you say." I laughed, "What do you say we get out of this forest?"

"'Kay."

I got to my feet, Mirai still in my arms, and we set off to find a way out of the forest. We had only been walking for a few minutes, when Mirai wriggled out of my arms and pointed excitedly straight ahead.

"Here, Houjun-san!" she cried, "This way, take us out."

I looked at where the girl was pointing and saw nothing but trees and bushes. "Are you sure?" I questioned, a little doubtfully. "It looks like more forest to me but then again, what do I know?"

"Lots." Mirai said, nodding solemnly. 

I stood there for a minute, staring at Mirai curiously.

"Houjun-san come?" the girl asked, holding out her hand as a means of invitation.

"Always." I told her, taking her hand and letting her lead me through the trees.

We had been walking for quite some time when we came to a small clearing. I felt a light tug on my sleeve. 

"What's wrong?" I asked looking down into Mirai's soft green eyes.

"M'thirsty. Water?" she asked.

"I'm sorry, I don't have any with me." I told her apologetically. "We could try to find some though."

"River?" asked Mirai, pointing to her right where a river was gently flowing, unnoticed until now.

"R-river?" I stammered. Where had that come from? Why hadn't I heard the water? I stopped in my tracks; trying to force back the haunting memories that were rushing into my mind and making my knees go weak. "I-I…that is…well, a-alright…" I took a deep breath and tried again. "We c-could stop." I said finally, still trying to rid myself of the painful images flashing across my mind.

"Daijobu ka?" Mirai asked uncertainly, her green eyes full of concern.

I nodded shakily. "I'm alright." I lied. "Y-you go ahead…I'll wait right here, okay?"

The girl nodded. Giving me a worried look over her shoulder, she started for the edge of the river. 

I sat down in the grass, putting my head in my hands. Why was I always tormented by the memories of that day? Would I never be able to find peace again?

_Peace? Who are you to deserve peace? _a little voice in the back of my mind spoke up _You who murdered your best friend, you who was too blind to see the games that Hikou and Kouran were playing with you...you who has nothing left to live for…Why should you have peace?_

_Liar!_ I screamed back at the voice _I may have been a fool, and I may have killed Hikou but, I  _do_ have something to live for! I live to protect Mirai now! She needs me!_

_Does she? _the voice asked wickedly _Or does she feel sorry for you? Does she truly care or does she stay because she pities you?_

_Shut up! _I yelled _Shut up! You don't know anything! She does care! Stop trying to make me believe things that aren't true!_

_Oh, but they are true. _the voice purred, each word stabbing me like a knife, awakening yet more memories within me _You know they are. Who could ever love you? Who could ever love a monster like you? You're nothing to anybody…_

"Stop it!" I burst out, unable to take anymore. I rose up onto my knees, lifting my face to the heavens in pure anguish. "Shut up! Leave me alone!" I shouted at the voice, desperately trying to shove the sharp, tormenting images of Hikou's death out of my mind.

The next thing I knew, I heard a splash and Mirai was calling my name in a voice filled with sheer panic.  

"Houjun-san! I can't swim! Tasukete!"

I bolted to my feet, ran to the river's edge, and froze. There was Mirai, struggling to keep her head above water and desperately calling my name. I went to reach out and take her hand but suddenly the scene shifted before my eyes. The gently flowing river became a whirlpool of angry, violent rapids, the clear blue sky became dark and threatening, Mirai became Hikou, his hand reaching for mine through the raging, swollen waters. I froze. This wasn't real! It couldn't be…Hikou had died that day in the river…it was in the past.

"Houjun-san!" Mirai shouted as her head sank beneath the water.

I snapped back to reality. "Not again!" I vowed as I dove into the water "Not this time!"

A/N: and so it ends for now. Will Houjun save Mirai? Or will yet another life slip between his fingers? We shall see next chapter. Here's the dictionary for ya:

Daijobu ka? - Are you okay?

Tasukete- help! 

 I think that's it… if I missed something let me know. See you next chappy.

~Tenshi Kitsune~ 


	7. The Life Of One

A/N: not one heckuva lot to say today, First and foremost, a big 'thank you' to everyone who bothered to read and/or review this story, you guys brighten my cloudy days and inspire me to top even my best work when you comment on what I do. So thanks, you really do make me want to write. Second, I don't own anyone or anything in this story except for Mirai. So here we go, ch7…

A thousand tiny needles of ice stabbed at my skin as the freezing waters of the river penetrated the thin material of my clothes. I clenched my fists as the water soaked through the bandage over my left eye, making the half-healed gash burn like fire. Ignoring the pain, I pushed through the murky depths desperately searching for any sign of Mirai. Shoving aside weeds and fish, I finally caught sight of a small, dark shape floating in the water. I gasped in horror, managing to swallow a mouthful of river water in the process, and darted forwards. I caught the girl up in my arms and swam for the surface with everything I had. I pulled Mirai up onto the riverbank and carefully set her on the grass where she lay pale and motionless. 

 "Please," I prayed, gently hitting her cheeks "You have to wake up! I can't lose you!"  

For a few heart-stopping minutes, I thought I hadn't acted fast enough and tears sprang to my eyes as I pulled the child close. A tear slipped from my cheek and splashed onto hers and she shivered. I held my breath, praying to the gods that Mirai was alright. Her eyes slowly slid open and she looked up at me. 

"Are you okay?" I asked worriedly "How did you fall in?"

"M'okay." she said softly "Houjun-san scared me an' I fell in." She shivered again and I pulled her closer to me in a feeble attempt to warm her up.

"I'm so sorry…" I whispered, my tears falling faster as guilt and grief overcame me "My poor angel… you nearly died, all because of me…me and my stupid past…" I bowed my head in shame letting the tears splash down onto my hands and into Mirai's hair. 

"Houjun-san saved me. Don't cry." the girl said, her voice quiet and full of compassion.

"Of course I saved you!" I sobbed " I couldn't live with myself if I let you die! I already let my best friend's life slip through my hands! I couldn't bear it if another life was lost because of me!"

"Wasn't Houjun's fault." Mirai said firmly "Was an accident."

"No! No, it _was _my fault!" I cried, shaking my head stubbornly "I let him go! I let go of his hand and…and he's-he…" My words trailed off into sobs. 

Mirai climbed out of my arms and knelt on the grass beside me. She reached out wincing as she moved her broken arm, cupped my chin in her hands and lifted my face so she could look into my eye. "It was a mistake," she said firmly. "A big mistake." Her green eyes were full of fierce determination and sympathy for what I was going through. She lifted her uninjured arm and brushed away a few tears with her thumb. "Was a bad accident." she murmured "A very bad accident…"    

"I killed him…" I whispered, fresh tears tumbling down my cheeks "It should have been me in that river, not Hikou! It should have been me!" I turned my face away sharply, wincing when Mirai let out a small squeak of pain as her broken arm fell heavily to her side. "It should have been me…" 

"No, not Houjun-san. If Houjun-san was in th' river, who saves Mirai?" The small girl's chin started to tremble in a mixture of sadness, cold and pain. Angry tears started to fall down her cheeks and her fingers curled into tiny fists. "If Houjun-san wasn't there, then who saves me!" she cried, her voice rising to the upper registers with a combination of anger and desperation. "Huh? Tell me! If Houjun-san was gone, who comes t'save me? Who comes t'scare th' bandits away? Who pulls me out of th' river? Who's there to keep me safe?" She broke of, crying too hard to continue and buried her face in her hands.

I sat there in shock, staring at the sobbing little girl in front of me, tears pouring down my face as I realised what Mirai had just said. She was right…if I _had_ died, then the bandits would have killed her…or she would have drowned in the river I'd just pulled her out of… _I_ was her protector now. No matter what I had done in the past, it wouldn't do me any good to live in my memories. _Look at what living in the past has done for you so far, _ I thought _You nearly killed Mirai and now you've made her cry…_

"No more…" I said in barely more than a whisper "No more tears…no more torturing myself with things I can't change…"

Mirai looked up at me in confusion. "Huh?"

I shook my head and gave her a watery half-smile. " It's okay now. I understand."

She gave me a questioning look.

"You're right." I explained, "If something happened to me, who would take care of you? Who would keep you safe? I'll never forget that day by the river-the day I let go of his hand- but I'm not going to let what happened then run my life now. What really matters is not the mistakes we've made, but what we do to try and make up for them." I pulled Mirai into my arms again and hugged her close. "I nearly lost you because I couldn't see that before. I've been living inside my own head for so long I lost sight of what's really important."

"What's impor'ant?" Mirai asked softly.

"Well, lots of things." I started, brushing a few tears off the girl's face. "Taking care of you and me, keeping you safe, making sure we always have somewhere decent to sleep and food to eat …those kind of things."

"Oh."  She put her head down on my chest and sighed. "M'glad. I thought Houjun-san was gonna leave me all 'lone again…"

"Didn't I promise I'd never leave you?" I asked, giving her a reassuring kiss on the head. 

She nodded. "Yeah…"

"Well, I meant it. No matter what happens to me, I'll always be there to save you, always be there to take care of you. Forever, until the day you won't want me to stay with you anymore, and even then I'll still be watching you from a little ways off." I kissed her again and brushed a stray lock of hair out of her eyes "Do you believe me?"

She nodded again, her green eyes filled over with tears once more. "Me too." she sniffled, hugging me as tight as she could  " Matter what, stay with Houjun-san, f'rever an' ever."

I smiled down at her and we stayed there for a minute, held in each other's arms until Mirai started to tremble in my arms.

"S'cold." she whimpered.

I shivered, the cold I had been feeling for the past hour finally starting to register. "I know, I'm cold too. I'll try and start a fire, okay?"

"'Kay." 

"Stay right here, I'm going to find some wood. I'll be right back." I told her as I set her on the grass next to me.

"No!" she cried, eyes going wide with fear "No, wanna stay with Houjun-san!"

"Mirai, I promise, I'll only be a minute." I said gently "I don't want you getting hurt in the woods. Be brave and stay here, okay? Please?"

She shook her head firmly. "Stay with Houjun-san." she repeated, grabbing one of my arms with both of hers.

"Alright, I'll make a deal with you. You can come with me, but you have to be extra careful, okay?"

"'Kay. Be very very careful an' never let go of Houjun-san's hand." she promised.

I smiled at her. "C'mon let's go find the wood- maybe some food too. You haven't eaten since yesterday have you?"

She shook her head as we started into the woods. 

"Well, I'll do my best to find you something to eat then. Maybe if we're lucky I'll find some for me too." I said, trying to repress a shiver of cold.

"I only eat if Houjun-san eat." Mirai said in a tone that told me it'd do no good to try and convince her otherwise.

We kept on going deeper and deeper into the forest, and finally we came to a small grove of trees. It was lined with bushes and every so often branches and dead leaves lay on the forest floor.

"Lookit!" Mirai cried happily "Wood an' food!" She dropped my hand and made to run for the nearest blueberry bush but stopped short. "'Men, ne." she said apologetically, taking up my hand again.

"Go ahead." I laughed, "We'll set up camp here, it looks like a perfect place."

"Arigato, Houjun-san!" Mirai called over her shoulder as she made a dash for the rows of bushes.

I shook my head and smiled as I started gathering wood for a fire. _I never would have imagined saving one little girl could make this much difference in my life_ I mused silently as I started building the fire.

A/N: well so it ends because I'm tired and because I have to be fully functional tomorrow so I can finish my stupid English essay. Glossary's below and see y'all next chappy y'know!

Glossary:

Arigato- thank you

'Men, ne- sorry

That's it!

Later all!

~Tenshi K. ~


	8. The Stars Of Fate

A/N: well my pc died hence the lack of updates. Horribly sorry all. Anyways, onto the usual stuff Mirai's mine but Fushigi Yuugi belongs to the amazingly talented Yuu Watase. To ch8…

We sat by the newly lit fire, holding our hands out to the warmth the fire gave off. Mirai was as close to me as she could get, shivering with cold and pulling my tunic tightly around herself. I had given the small girl my shirt as soon as it was dry, not caring if I froze to death as long as Mirai was alright, but it seemed that no matter what we did the tiny girl just couldn't warm up. I looked down at her and frowned a little.

"Are you still cold?" I asked worriedly.

The girl nodded and looked up at me, her green eyes miserable and pleading.

 I pulled Mirai into my arms and held her close, rubbing her arms and hands in an effort to get her warm. "I'm sorry. This is the best I can do." I apologized "I don't have any blankets or anything and if we get any closer to the fire, you might get burnt."

"S'okay." she whispered "Houjun-san trying."

I gave her a wry smile. "Maybe, but trying isn't good enough for me. I've got to get you warmed up. If you stay this cold, you'll get sick. I haven't got any medicine for you and we're miles from anyone who could give us some. I don't know what I'd do if anything happened to you. You mean everything to me…" My voice shook as tears stung at the corners of my eye. The mere thought of something horrible befalling my tiny companion wrenched at my heart and made me cry.

"Be okay." Mirai reassured me "Houjun-san think of somethin'. Won't get sick, promise. Tomorrow, find people an' we be okay."

I passed a hand over my eye and shook my head, a half-smile making its way across my face." I hope you're right Mirai…I hope you're right."

Night fell over us and I gently lay Mirai's sleeping form on the grass next to me, lying down on my back next to her and looking up at the stars. Suddenly, a strange impulse took me over and I sat up again. I clasped my hands together and bowed my head in prayer. Bringing my hands up to my face, I touched the bridge of my nose with my thumb, the tips of my index and middle fingers brushing my forehead and my ring and little fingers intertwined. I closed my eye and breathed a prayer to Suzaku.

_Please,_ I prayed _Let Mirai be okay. Don't take her from me, Suzaku. I love her too much to lose her…_

A brilliant red light shone from my right knee as I pleaded with Suzaku to keep Mirai safe. I broke off my prayer and gasped in surprise as the light coming from my knee started to fade and I could make out a character through the thin material of my trousers.

"Sho…" I breathed in awe "The symbol for 'well'…" 

Why in the name of the four gods was I marked with a character? Could this mean what I thought it meant…Was I- could I be- one of the legendary Seishi of Suzaku?  No, I was being delusional. Why would Suzaku choose to bestow his favour on a murdering, evil man like me?

_Stop this self-castigation Houjun! _I told myself _Suzaku chose you because he sees something in you that you may not realize you possess. You have to believe in yourself if you're to make any difference in the world._

 Vowing to believe I could make a difference, I lay back down and looked up at the stars. Just visible through the treetops I caught sight of my favorite constellation, two parallel rows of four stars, one row slightly crooked as the last two stars jutted out into the night sky around them. One particularly bright star shone between the rows, connecting them like a giant letter 'H'. I smiled as I watched the clouds drift over the tiny points of light and the middle star was lost between the wispy, shadowed forms. I found my eyes getting heavier and heavier as the heavens continued their mysterious movements and finally I drifted off into sleep.

A/N: well so ends another chapter because it's late and I have to get up at six am tomorrow. The next chapter (and possibly the chapter after that (final chapter) as well) soon. 

Glossary of Japanese:

Seishi- celestial warrior

Suzaku- God of the south in The Universe Of the Four Gods

That's it I s'pose. Oh yeah, for you fy fans who noticed something funny about Chiri's constellation, guess who the extra star is, cause I ain't telling. See ya next chappy.

~Tenshi Kitsune~


	9. The Love Of A Child

A/N: well here we are gang, ch9. I'll do my very best to make up for last chapter's bad writing and shortness. As usual I credit Chichiri to Watase-san and I take ownership of Mirai. Nothing else to be said but here's ch9….

As my eyes crept open the next morning, I sensed something was terribly wrong. As I gently returned to the conscious world, a strange sense of urgency began to form in my mind. It became sharper and sharper until I was sure either we were being attacked or Mirai had been abducted by some horrible monster and was now fighting for her life.  I sat bolt upright and looked down at Mirai. She was still asleep, curled up into a tiny ball, her shoulders rising and falling with each soft breath she took. I let out a sigh of relief and reached out to brush the back of my hand over her face. As my hand passed over her skin I felt the heat coming from her and when I pulled my hand back it was shining with tiny droplets of sweat! I gasped in horror as I realized why my mind had been telling me something wasn't right. Quickly I turned the girl over to face me and gently shook her shoulders.

_Please, don't be unconscious…please be okay… _I pleaded, watching the child's face for any sign of life.

What seemed like hours passed by until, finally, Mirai's eyelids began to flutter open. I let out the breath I'd been holding as she looked up at me, green eyes clouded with fever and confusion.

"Why Houjun-san wake me up?" she asked softly. 

"I'm sorry, but I had to." I explained, "I needed to make sure you were still conscious."

"M'okay." she told me with a small smile. Then she shivered and wrapped her arms tightly around her chest. "S'just so cold…"

"I know, angel. It's because you're sick." I said gently, taking the girl into my arms "You have a bad fever and it makes you feel like you're burning and freezing at the same time. We have to get you to a doctor as soon as we can."

Mirai nodded and slowly pulled out of my arms. "This way." she said simply, pointing straight ahead. She started forwards but stumbled and would have fallen had I not caught her.

"Slow down. You shouldn't be walking, you're too weak." I said worriedly. "Here, you tell me where to go and I'll carry you, alright?"

The small girl looked up at me and shook her head. "Iie, m'okay. Wanna walk." I opened my mouth to protest but Mirai shook her head. "M'a big girl. I c'n do it." 

I looked down into those honest green eyes and nodded. "Okay, but if I see you falling or looking tired I'm going to pick you up. Deal?"

She nodded and we started off through the forest, going slower than I would have liked but making good progress nevertheless. Every so often, we would stop so that Mirai could rest and after about five hours she ended up asleep in my arms. I tried to keep going, but only ended up in a deeper part of the forest. Deciding the best thing to do would be to wait until Mirai woke up so she could tell me where to go, I went back the way I had come until I found another clearing like the one we had slept in the previous night. Sinking down under a willow with a heavy sigh, I passed a worried hand over Mirai's forehead. She was getting worse, her skin felt like fire beneath my hand and yet she continued to tremble with cold. 

I hated myself for not being able to do anything to help her. I was so worried about her, it was like having a permanent weight pressing down on my chest, and yet I couldn't help but feel proud of the tiny girl. 

She was strong for one so young. I remembered when I had first met her, how she had stood up to the two bandits even though she was hurt and frightened, yelling at them to let me be. I remembered how it felt holding her sobbing form in my arms after the bandits had gone… whispering words of peace into her soft chestnut hair and feeling like I never wanted to let go of this child, like I would die for her even though I barely knew her. I smiled a little as my mind took me back to how she had taken care of me after I'd patched her up. How gentle she was, the way her tiny hand moved so delicately around my badly wounded eye…

Tears formed as memories kept flooding forward in my mind; the not so distant day I had thrown all my anger and grief at her, driving her to turn from me in tears…how my heart had leapt with joy and relief as she flew back into my arms hours later…holding her in the middle of the night as she sobbed into my tunic…telling her it would all be okay, seeing her eyes filled with complete trust and faith as she looked up at me. 

I watched myself on the silver screen of my mind, kneeling by the river in agony… heard Mirai scream as she fell in…remembered pulling her slight form out of the icy depths and then feeling a knife go through my heart when I thought she was gone forever…how I had choked out the horrible story of my life and how instead of the tears and horror I'd been expecting she simply reached out a hand and pulled me out of hell.     

I sat there with Mirai in my arms and sobbed, knowing that if I lost her now it would be the end for me. I knew that if she died so would I. I couldn't live with the pain of losing yet another loved one, knowing that it was my fault yet again that a life had been lost. I pulled the child close and whispered  "Please, don't leave me all alone again…please…"  

"I won't." a soft voice answered.

I jumped in surprise as I realized Mirai was awake. "I-I'm sorry…" I said shakily, trying to keep the misery out of my voice "I didn't mean to wake you…"

She shook her head. "Didn't. Was already 'wake." she told me. 

"Did you hear all that?" I asked softly, shifting the girl so that she was sitting up in my arms.

The girl nodded. "S'okay, don't be sad." she said, reaching up and brushing a tear off my cheek. "Won't leave Houjun-san 'lone. Be okay, be better soon an' Houjun-san be happy 'gain..." She trailed off and looked up at me with sad green eyes. "Ne?" her voice got softer and I could see tears threatening to fall from her eyes. "I don't like it when Houjun-san cries. S-so get b-better real fast an'… an' then no more tears, 'kay?" She was crying now, soft little droplets slipping down her cheeks and splashing on to my tunic, which she still wore.

My eye softened and I felt my heart clench with remorse. "Please don't cry…" I whispered  "I didn't mean to make you sad…" More tears found their way down my face and it seemed the more I tried to stop them the faster they came. "I'm sorry!" I sobbed brokenly, holding the girl close as she pressed her burning face to my chest "I'm sorry I'm not strong enough to stop…I'm trying but these tears- they won't stop! I'm sorry…"

Mirai shook her head, still holding onto me for all she was worth and said softly "D-don't be sorry, s'okay…"

"It's not okay!" I cried in despair "I'm hurting you! With every tear that falls from my eye, I'm causing you pain! _I'm_ supposed to be telling _you_ it's okay, that tomorrow will be brighter, but I can't…all I seem to be good for is causing you pain and making you cry…" 

The girl pulled back from me and looked into my eye. "Don't say that." she sniffled, trying her best to keep her voice steady  "Houjun-san th' best person I ev'r met. Takes care of me an'…an' always tells me s'okay when m'crying. Always there with me an' even if s-sometimes gets mad or c-cries, still th' bravest person I-I know. S-so, don't say that…"  She bowed her head and threw her arms around me again, her sobs redoubling.

I held her as she cried, my own tears slowing as I rubbed her back soothingly. 

"It's going to be alright." I told her, my voice quiet and less shaky then before. "We'll make it through, together."

She nodded and her sobs calmed until they were only occasional hiccups. "Stay with Houjun-san…" she said quietly, on the very edge of sleep again. "F'rever…'til th' end."

"That's right…" I said gently moving her tiny form so it was once more cradled in my arms, my voice barely above a whisper. "Until the bitter end…"

Mirai's eyes slid shut as she fell into sleep once more and I smiled a little, brushing away the last of my tears.  

"Thank you…" I murmured, looking down fondly at the sleeping girl in my arms "Thank you for showing me such faith and compassion…for teaching me to love again and for everything you mean to me…My angel, it's because of you that I've become who I am and I'll never forget that no matter what." I gently kissed the top of her head and because of the strong emotions that coursed through me that day and because of my sudden outburst of tears and grief, I closed my eyes too, giving in to blessed sleep.

A/N: well there's ch9 for you. Glossary's below,

Iie means no

Ne, means right. (As in he's right, not the direction right.) And probably other things too, but I don't know what they are. 

I did the best that I could to make up for the total lack of talent in ch8, but I'm not sure I did. Anyways, thanks as usual to the people that bother to read this story and see you next chapter.

~Tenshi Kitsune~


	10. Warnings From The Next Life

A/N: warning for this chapter, if you don't like a lot of angst skip the first half, actually skip next chapter too. Come to think of it, why the hell are you reading this story at all if you hate angst? Other than that go right ahead and read. Music for this scene is, obviously, Mizu-Kagami Chichiri's serious character song. Instrumental or with lyrics version is up to you. As usual Fushigi Yuugi isn't mine but Mirai is. I'll shut up now and let you get on with the story…. 

I was running, running through an endless labyrinth of trees. I didn't know where I was going, but I knew I had to get there as fast as I could. Suddenly the trees stopped and I was standing on a narrow riverbank, staring down into the water below.

"W-what?" I stammered "Why am I here? And where's Mirai?" A sudden thought hit me and I threw myself to the floor staring into the cool blue depths. 

_She's not…she didn't fall in again, did she?_ I thought in panic.

Just as I was about to dive in, the water suddenly shimmered before my eyes shifting into a face. An all too familiar face.

"Hikou!" I exclaimed in shock "How …Why are you…What…"

" I had to warn you." My best friend's soft voice told me. "I had to tell you…Kouran wanted me to tell you…" he trailed off his voice shaking with suppressed pain.

"Tell me what?" I asked urgently "What did Kou-" my voice caught on the name and my heart threatened to break all over again, but I plunged on knowing that I had very little time to hear the message my friend was delivering. "What did she want you to say?"

"She wanted me to tell you that…that the girl is in danger." Hikou said haltingly, his every word now trembling with sadness and bitter regret. 

"Mirai…in danger?" I asked, still too stunned by Hikou's sudden appearance in the water to pick up on the pain in his voice. 

The shadowy form of my best friend nodded. "She will die if you don't save her," he said shortly. "You must bring her to safety if you do not wish to lose her."

"How?" I cried, my words starting to get frantic "Tell me how to save her!"  

"Take her to the monastery." Hikou told me "Take her and the monks there will heal her. She'll show you the way, just hurry…there isn't much time."

"I will…I promise." My eyes stung as I finally realized that this really _was_ my best friend come to warn me. "Thank you…"

Hikou's image nodded slowly as he started to fade away. "I'm sorry, Houjun…" he whispered "I never meant to take her from you…"  

"Wait!" I shouted, pressing myself flat on the ground and reaching my hand towards the water "Don't leave me again, please! Come back! We'll work it out, please, just don't leave me…" Tears were coursing openly down my face now, splashing into the rapidly vanishing image of my best friend. "Don't leave me…" My voice had become a mere whisper and I closed my eye against the pain that was flowing through me. "Not again…" 

"I'm sorry," the shadow repeated, voice dark with bitter sadness "I can't. I'll tell Kouran…I'll tell her you love her and that you would have wanted to see her…"

"No! Hikou, please, I won't let you go this time!" I screamed in sheer agony "Please…" 

It was too late though, the image had already faded, and I was slowly returning to consciousness.

"Hikou!" I cried out one last, despairing time. "Hikou…" 

I pressed my face into the cool grass beneath my face, clenching my fists and keeping my eye shut tight, and sobbed. The tears came fast and strong as I lay there, breathing in the smell of the morning. I brought my knees to my chest and curled up into a tight little ball.  He came back to warn me…after all I'd done he still came back…

"Gods, if I could only have gone with you…" I whispered brokenly "If I'd been pulled under with you…if I'd been pulled under with you, you wouldn't be alone. I'd be with you and I could see you again… I could see her again too… and- and we'd be together again…Oh gods, I miss you!"  My grip tightened so much that my fingernails dug into my palms, drawing blood. I felt a tiny hand brush over my face and became aware of the soft voice telling me it was alright.

"Shh…gonna be okay." it said gently "Jus' cry it out…"

I looked up into Mirai's sympathetic green eyes and sobbed even harder. Here she was, burning with fever and all she wanted to do was make _me_ feel better.  "I miss him…" I said before I could stop myself  "I miss him so much…" 

"S'okay…" she repeated, brushing my bangs off my face "It'll all be right 'gain soon, kay."

I sat up with my knees under me and looked at Mirai. I took a deep breath, intending to calm myself down but I only managed to collapse into another fit of sobs, my face buried in my hands. 

"Gonna be okay…" Mirai whispered soothingly "Hang on, my Houjun, be alright. Shh now…" She wrapped her good arm around my shoulders and gently kissed my left temple, right above the bandage around my eye. I lost it completely then, pulling the tiny girl into my arms and sobbing uncontrollably. " It hurts!" I cried, my voice soft and childlike now "It hurts so much, I just want to die! Oh gods, he came back to warn me…" I was crying so hard I was trembling and I felt like I would fall away into the darkness gathering at the edge of my brain if I let go of Mirai.

"Shh…gonna be alright." she continued to whisper, her small hand gently rubbing my back. "Let it out…"

I hugged the girl to me, pressing my face into her shoulder as the tears continued to run down my face like a river of grief and loss. I don't know how long I stayed like that, holding Mirai and sobbing, but I managed to calm myself down eventually and I pulled away from her. I looked into those green eyes and smiled a watery little smile.

"You really are my angel." I said weakly "Do you know that? D'you know how much I love you?" 

Mirai nodded slowly. "Lots." she answered faintly "More n' the sky an' the sun an' the rain put t'gether…" With that she fell forwards onto my chest, unable to keep conscious any longer. I snapped back to reality in less than a second.

"Mirai, I'm so sorry…" I whispered, my heart racing as I thought of Hikou's warning "I didn't mean to…Oh, Suzaku, how am I going to get her to the monastery now?"

A faint red light shone over us and Mirai's eyes fluttered open. "Go that way," she said weakly "Straight through th' trees… an' then through th' village… right over th' hill…s'there…" Her eyes slid shut again and I sprang to my feet, sending a prayer of thanks to Suzaku as I ran.

A/N: well I think that's quite enough dramatics for one chapter, ne? anyways as usual tell me what you thought (or don't it's up to you guys really ~.^) no glossary today, and see you next chapter.

~Tenshi Kitsune~   


	11. Because I Love You Enough To Set You Fre...

A/N: Well here it is guys, the last chapter. First and foremost, I wanna say a HUGE thank you to all my reviewers, the one timers and the one's who review every chapter or so. You are my reason for improving and you guys make me smile every time I read what you write about my work, whether it's good, bad, or just constructive criticism. It really is the reason I've become the writer I am. Anyways, enough with the notes and let's get to the chappy already! I don't own anything except Mirai, hold on cause it might get a little rough and here we go…

I ran as fast as I could, pushing myself to my limits and trying not to hit trees as the forest became darker and darker around me. I was sore and full of bruises from tripping over tree roots and hidden rabbit holes, my palms and lower back badly scratched, scraped and in some places cut open because I used my own body to shield Mirai each time I fell. It felt as if my lungs would explode with every breath I took, but I didn't care. My only thought was 'if you don't keep running, she'll die in your arms and you won't be able to save her'. 

I ducked under a low branch and narrowly avoided hitting the trunk of an oak with my head as my frantic dash brought me nearer and nearer my goal. As I ran I kept the girl in my arms cradled against my chest, hoping against hope that just the sound of my racing heart might save her. Suddenly, I felt my foot catch on a tangle of weeds and I crashed to the forest floor. I twisted myself so that my back was on the floor, keeping Mirai close to my chest and out of harm's way. I slid on the wet grass and crashed into a rose bush, the delicate branches snapping as my body smashed a path through the leaves. I came to a stop a few inches away from the plant's center amidst a shower of soft red petals and pollen. Luckily I was facing away from the bush and its thorns couldn't hit my face or Mirai's still form, but I still managed to get the tiny, spear-like things into my arms, back, and the palm of my right hand, which I had used as a level to keep Mirai from slipping sideways off of me. Tears sprang to my eye as I felt thousands of tiny daggers piercing my skin, driving themselves deep under my flesh and sending rivulets of blood sliding down my back. 

I lay still for a minute, exhaustion and a feeling of hopelessness keeping me pinned to the ground. I'd never make it…Mirai was going to die in my arms in the middle of a dark forest and there wasn't anything I could do about it.  I felt tears slip down my face and join with the blood slowly coursing down my shoulders as I closed my eyes against the sudden wave of sadness that swept over me. I lay my head down on the grass, heedless of the thorns that drove themselves into my scalp as I sobbed helplessly. 

Just as the first waves of darkness started to wash over me, Hikou's warning resounded in my mind _'You must bring her to safety if you do not wish to lose her. Hurry…there isn't much time.'_  I forced myself to my feet thinking that even if it wasa lost cause I had to at least _try_ and save Mirai. After all how many times had she saved me? How many times had she gently pushed back my silvery-blue bangs and told me it would be okay, how many hours had she spent curled up in my arms offering silent acceptance and comfort? How often had she trusted me to keep her safe and how many times had I let her down… 

As this last thought crossed my mind I found my feet hitting the soft ground faster and harder than before, my tired body drawing strength from the intense feeling of determination coursing through me as the single-minded desire to save the child I had come to love more than life itself replaced all other conscious thought in my mind. I fought through the dense forest and undergrowth for a long time knocking aside branches and bushes, sending startled wildlife scrambling out of my path.  More than once I received a hard hit in the head as the branches snapped back to their original positions and several of the bushes I plowed through were thistle-patches that tore through the thin material of my pants to rip at my legs and the pain nearly drove me to my knees again, but I kept on. All that mattered now was getting Mirai to safety. 

For hours I ran until, finally, I burst through the trees and into an open field. The village Mirai had told me about peeked out from just over the next hill and I let out a sigh of relief as I felt my legs shaking beneath me. I stood for a minute watching the sun set beyond the horizon, Mirai held in one arm, the other resting on my knee as I tried to catch my breath. Once the fire in my lungs had abated somewhat, I started forwards again, intending to reach the village before nightfall, but before I could even take a step, my knees gave out and I collapsed, my body finally giving in to exhaustion.  My last conscious thought was, 'I'm sorry…I've let you down again. Forgive me…'

I don't know how long I lay there, but the next thing I knew my eye had fluttered opened and I found a tiny figure kneeling before me in the darkness gently pulling my tunic over my head, which was being supported by one small hand.   

"Mirai?" I called weakly.

The hand that was supporting me lowered my head to the grass and reached out to touch my cheek. "S'okay." she murmured, giving me a small smile and slipping my arms into the sleeves of my shirt. "Back t'sleep, my Houjun. Tomorrow we go t'the village and find the doctor. For now, sleep. Be okay, I'll wait for Houjun-san. Don't be scared…"

"But you'll never make it…" I protested, my voice starting to get fainter as the blackness threatened to claim me once more. " I've got to save you… I've…got to…save…you…" With that I fell into the darkness gathering at the edge of my brain and my eye slipped shut once more. 

Someone was repeatedly hitting me over the head with a tree-branch, or at least that's what it felt like. My head was throbbing and every part of me felt like it was made of lead. With a visible effort I forced my eye opened, trying to ignore the blazing sun that was nearly blinding me.  I turned my head to the side in an effort to get the sun out of my eyes and found Mirai sitting on her knees, watching me. When she saw that my eyes were open, she smiled at me. "Better?" she asked quietly.

I nodded slowly, my mind trying to push some important piece of information through the fog in my brain. Mirai nodded and got unsteadily to her feet, holding out her arms for balance. "C'mon." she said taking a shaking step forward "Gotta get t'the doctor's, 'member?" 

I pushed myself into a sitting position as the fog finally lifted from my mind and I remembered why I had pushed myself so hard the previous day. Ignoring the pain that shot through me with every move I made, I forced myself to my feet and swept Mirai into my arms, taking off at a run. I was moving more slowly than the day before because of I still wasn't fully recovered from my exhaustion and I silently cursed myself for being so weak, pushing myself to go faster as I saw the village getting closer and closer on the horizon. We reached the village about half an hour later and I stopped to get my bearings, frantically looking around for any signs of the monastery. Mirai must have sensed my urgency because she gently tugged on my sleeve. I looked down at her, my eyes full of concern. "What's wrong?" I asked worriedly "Are you okay?"

She shook her head and pointed to her right. "This way." she said simply. "Come, I'll show Houjun-san th' way." She wriggled out of my arms and fell heavily to the dirt path below. With obvious effort, she pulled herself to her feet and took my hand for support. 

"Mirai, no. You have to stay in my arms, you're too weak." I protested, reaching out to pick her up again.

The girl shook her head stubbornly. "Faster like this. I don't wanna leave Houjun-san all alone, gotta hurry."

An icy stab of fear swept over me at these words and I nodded mutely, knowing that we didn't have any time to waste arguing. Mirai smiled reassuringly at me and took a step forward, holding onto me tightly as she almost fell to her knees. I reached out and took her other hand, keeping her upright. 

We kept going, Mirai leading the way and me trying hard not to cry, feeling sick with worry over the tiny girl I was supporting as she forced herself to put one foot in front of the other. It seemed like days before we finally reached the other end of the village, but it had only been four hours. Mirai looked up at me, sweat standing out on her forehead as she used what little energy she had left to turn around and face me. I caught her in my arms as her knees gave way beneath her and she whispered "Straight." I nodded and took off again, forcing myself to run as fast as I could. 

I flew over another hill and the monastery rose up before me like a beacon of hope. I sighed in relief, stopping in my tracks and just staring for a minute at the simple yet elegant structure standing only a hundred yards from where I was. 

Shaking myself out of my reverie, I started running again only to have Mirai grab my sleeve and say something so softly that I couldn't hear her. I stopped again, tilting my head so that I could hear Mirai better. "What did you say?" I asked between gasps for breath "I didn't hear you."

"Said stop." the child repeated, her voice faint. "Stop, can't hold on anymore…"

My eyes widened in fear, not wanting to believe what I had just heard. "Yes you can, we're right there. Just hold on a little more…" My voice shook as I looked pleadingly into Mirai's soft green eyes. 

"Can't." she repeated, reaching up to put her hand to my cheek. "I'm sorry, my Houjun, I wanna stay but 'Kaa-san's calling me. She wants t'see me…"

"N-no, you-you can't!" I cried in desperation, sinking to my knees on the soft grass beneath me and pulling Mirai closer to me "You can't leave me like this…I-it isn't fair…we're so close…" I squeezed my eye shut against the sadness that washed over me as tears coursed down my cheeks. "I can't lose you when we're this close…"

Mirai gently lifted my face so that she was face to face with me and I opened my eye. She was pale as the white clouds above her and her arms trembled as she held her small hands to my face in sympathy. "I know…" she whispered very softly, her voice starting to fade as she got weaker and weaker with each passing second. "Close, but too late…I'm sorry…never wan'ed to make Houjun-san so sad, but I gotta go..." she stopped for a second, her brow creasing as she struggled to hold onto her train of thought  "Don't worry, when I'm up there" she gestured to the blue sky above "Be your angel…F'rever an' ever..."

I slowly shook my head, starting to rock back and forth as I held the girl as close as I could. "No…" I sobbed over and over "Please… _please _don't leave me… _Please!"_  As much as I cried and as much as I begged the gods not to let it happen, I knew what was coming. Mirai was going to die in my arms no matter what I did. Even if I could somehow instantly transport myself to the monastery, she would still die. She was too sick. I hadn't been fast enough to save her…Just like with Hikou I had let Mirai down… I hugged her close as sobs racked my body, burying my face in her small shoulder and wishing I could die instead of her.    

"Houjun-san?" Mirai said tentatively, her voice softer than the wind and fainter than a mouse's whisper.

I pulled away and looked down at her, unable to speak around the lump in my throat.

"I love you an' don't forget, always be with you. Here," she put her hand over my chest "An' here…" She gently brushed her hand over my forehead. Her hands dropped to her sides and a feeling of peace descended around us as her eyes slid shut for the last time. 

I look up at the clear blue sky, blinking back tears as memories of that painful day flash through my mind. Getting to my feet, still sobbing uncontrollably and carrying Mirai's lifeless body to the monastery…how the monks there had taken me in with no questions asked, telling me I could stay with them for as long as I felt the need to…the earth beneath my hands as I knelt beside Mirai's grave… the gentle hands that had helped me to my feet and led me away from the cemetery and brought me to the gardens where I spent many hours praying for the little girl I had held so close to my heart. 

Eventually I learned to accept her death and the fact that I had killed three people, perhaps not intentionally, but it was still my fault that they had died. I can't hold them back anymore and the tears spill from my eye as I take off my mask and let the golden rays of sunshine stream across my scarred face. For a minute I let myself cry, letting the pain that I hold locked away in my heart flow freely throughout my being. Then I take a deep breath and slowly brush the last teardrop from my face, pushing the sadness back into its little box in the back of my mind. After all it wouldn't do to fall apart now, not when we're leaving for Hokkan the next day. I reach for my mask and turn sharply as I feel another hand beneath my own. 

A little girl with sparkling green eyes, soft chestnut hair, and a gentle smile on her face stares back at me, her features faint and unclear as the sunlight passes through her slight form to play on the surface of the water shimmering only a few feet away. "Good luck, my Houjun." she says softly, pressing my mask into my hand "I'm watching you." 

I swallow hard as I stare into the face that has haunted my thoughts for the last five years. I close my eyes for a moment as pain washes over me but when I open my eyes again she's gone. I look at the mask in my hands and gently set it down again, giving in to the sadness inside of me. It wouldn't hurt to cry for her one last time, she _is _my angel after all…

A/N: well I had an amazing time writing this, but I'm afraid it ends here. Before I go into the many 'thank you's I want to say, I'm going to take this opportunity to answer Flighting Dreams's very observant question, 'why is it that no matter what happens, Mirai is always the one to make Houjun stop his 'angsting'?'. Well it's simple really, if not her, then who? What I mean is Mirai and Houjun are in it together, just the two of them, so if one breaks down it's up to the other to try and offer comfort. And besides some of the time it's Houjun who helps himself, like in chapter seven where Mirai ends up crying so hard she can't talk anymore and Houjun calms himself down so that he can help Mirai. Or else it's Houjun who gets Mirai t stop 'angsting', they help each other because that's all they have in the world- one another. I know that wasn't the most coherent thing in the world but hopefully I answered the question. Anyways, thank you's are right under here and hope to see some of your names on the boards for my other stuff, but if not that's okay too.

Otaku Pitcher: Thanks for offering constructive criticism, advice or praise throughout this whole story and in a lot of my other work as well. You really made me smile every time I saw one of your reviews on the board because when you're having a bad time writing something, nothing helps you focus like an honest reviewer who gives you something to work with and build on.

Flighting Dreams: Really appreciated having someone ask so many questions and telling me that something was missing every so often. It's because of reviewers like you that I actually stop to think about what fits where before I start writing, because with my early work I would just type whatever came into my head first and then my story would be awful. So thanks for being curious and thanks for reading too. 

Roku-chan: What _can_ I say? No seriously, thank you just isn't the right word, but there's no other way to say it. You have no idea how many times I thought of just giving up on certain chapters- this one in particular- but then I'd read over my reviews see your name up there and my face would-and still will- light up. I'd be inspired to push myself farther than I would have ever thought I could go because I knew you might read it one day. Thanks for your advice and for the encouragement, but most of all thanks for taking time out of your day just to review my small-time-not-so-amazing-but-still-decent story. It really means one hell of a lot to me to know that my hero likes something I've done.

Last but not least, there is Spak-chan: You're the best beta-reader in the world! You've been with me since the very beginning of my writing career and so, thanks for sticking with me and for reading through my ugly, messy handwriting when I asked you to tell me if something was good or not, but mostly thanks for telling the truth and never being too harsh when you told me something wasn't that great.

Oy, that's a lot of typing! Anyways hope this chapter wasn't a huge let down and glad you read it. 

Later days,

~Tenshi Kitsune~    


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